Day 14- Hellur

Hellur!! Lol! I am so very proud of myself!! I have lost 10lbs! Just by eating right! I pack my water around everywhere I go, I have not cheated, and I'm super proud of me!
Has is been tough? Heck yeah! But I have stayed the course! This is a lifestyle change and a process! And I'm doing it!! Yay me!
Yesterday we went thru a drive thru to get my girls something to eat and the drive thru window opened up and the smell made me gag! The smell of the grease was overwhelming and it made me sick! That is so miraculous!! I used to feast at drive thru's!!
If I can do it...ANYONE CAN DO IT!!!
So this is me patting myself on the back and saying "Rock on, Carrie! Rock on!"
Now I have to get my workouts going!
Have an awesome day!

~C

Day 10~ Lots O' Things

Lots of things on my brain today....
1) Kinda discouraged b/c I am stuck at 8lbs lost! I know I should not be focusing on that but I cannot help it! I am eating so good and clean and only 8lbs FOR REAL?? I guess that just another layer I have to deal with! And I am starting my workouts on Monday so I know that will help!
2) It's summertime and even tho I LOVE swimming I HATE being in a bathing suit! Every insecurity I have floats right to the top... no pun intended... :) Another layer!
3) Ok, now on to the positive... Yesterday I spent most of the day outside being active and doing things around  (literally around the outside of my house) the house and before this "revelation" I would've been inside missing that time with my family!
4) We (well, Greg- haha) planted a small garden! Tomatoes, squash, zucchini, strawberries, watermelon... all kinds of yummy stuff! I'm so excited about that!
5) I do feel tons better. My energy is up and I am finding myself wanting to do more and more. Yay me!

I know the weight will come off and I probably shouldn't even weigh myself! I feel much better in my clothes and I am feeling better in my skin! Just a few thoughts this morning! Now off to the backyard with my girls! Have a fabulous weekend, y'all!

~C

Day 7~ Big Day!!!

Today is a big day here in the Higgins household! Avery gets her cast off!! YAY!!!!!!! I am so excited but so anxious at the same time! I hope she's not sore and I hope she can walk right away! This has been the longest and hardest  4 weeks!
I am so proud of her because she has handled it so well. What a tough lil girl she is!
I am learning how to sort thru my emotions when stuff like this happens!
Normally I'd be walking in that Dr.'s office with a sugary coffee drink and a candy bar and that's after stopping at a drive thru!
Not today! Today I will have my water and my healthy snack just in case we are there for a while and I get hungry! I am going to be present today with a sound mind! LOL!
I can do all things thru Him who is my strength. And so can YOU!
~C

Day 5: 6 Pounds

Welp it's day 5 and I weighed this mornin just for the heck of it and I've lost 6 lbs! Even though my issue isn't about weight and isn't about food, it's still great to know that I'm losing weight!
I'm trying everyday to let God remove the root and fill it back up with Himself!
So I can do this! I can feel better about myself, have a healthy relationship with food and more importantly with others!
I used to punish myself so bad and feel so much guilt and shame but those days are over!!
If you are struggling with any kind of addiction, feelings of unworthiness, low self esteem, etc. then u need to read the whole book of James!! Wow! It's awesome!
Thank u all for your support!
Love,
~C
P.S. Saturday at my Mamaw's bday party I didn't eat a morsel of cake or ice cream, or drink a drop of punch or pop!! That, my friend, is a miracle! #smallvictories

Day 3: Hit Bottom

So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and he'll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it's the only way you'll get on your feet. (James 4:7 MSG)

Wow! When God starts revealing stuff and you hit bottom.... You can dust yourself off and let Him help you up or you can lay there and wallow! I'm slowly but surely getting up! I'm on my knees right now but I will stand up and be so much better than I was before!
This is going to be a tough evening for me b/c I'm going to my Mamaw's 70th birthday party! And birthday parties mean cake, ice cream, punch, etc. All the "triggers"! But I have made a decision! I WILL DO THIS!! I am determined! I already feel so much better!
Thanks for all your prayers and support!
~C

Day One

Ok! Day one! Cutting out sugar b/c several sights I have read says that sugar affects the same part of ur brain that heroine and cocaine affect! It gives u the same feelings of pleasure! That's powerful!
So no more sweet tea :( ! And I have had several ppl reach out with the same problem and offer resources and support! It's going to be a long journey but if I can say focused and execute a plan I can do this! And obviously in the Word and prayer everyday! Nothing but water from here on out!
This is cake compared to what Jesus went thru for me!
Thanks for all ur support!
Much love and hugs!!

Secret

I know it has been a while, a long while since I've written!!
Anyhow, I am about to write about something that is one of my deepest, darkest secrets! It is very emotional and very deep and personal for me! I am struggling to type right now! There's something that is so terrifying about saying these words out loud! But there's also a freedom in saying it out loud as well!
This problem has haunted me my entire life! I am tormented by it everyday! So here it goes...........
I've just discovered in the past few days that I am a food addict, binge eater, and compulsive over eater.
I have unfortunately inherited the addictive personality gene and I am desperate for help!
I have been researching this disease the past few days and I have never cried so much in my life!
When you come to a realization like this about yourself it really brings a lot of things into perspective!
I have lived a secret life of sneaking, deceit, and lies and I am so ashamed of myself! I have overwhelming guilt and shame and I know that those feelings are not of God!
So if you're reading this, please pray for me! I am starting a journey that is very scary and I will need support!
This blog will be dedicated to my journey!